He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
did you just send me my own nude
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
