Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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