Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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