Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
