Duck Duck Cougar?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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