If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize