from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
