She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize