peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
