two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
