It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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