I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
