Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
