Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
