I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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