party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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