she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
