woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
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Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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