Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My breasts were aching with rage.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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