wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize