I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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