I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
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I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
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And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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