He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
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I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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