Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
