I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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