Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize