So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize