apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
