I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
