that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
