So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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