One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
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Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
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I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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