we have pet lesbian snakes
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!