Already got asked if we're dating
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
