She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
