85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
