Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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