I skipped work to stalk him.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
