Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
