Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
