mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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