I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
