MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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