oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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