I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
