I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
