he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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