I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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