Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
