are you so shy because you have an std?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
