There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is Oprah even human
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
