thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
