update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize