he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
