In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
