It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there was a trapeze. enough said
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
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I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
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There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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